| I owe the internet a follow up |
[Dec. 11th, 2008|03:44 am] |
Dear internet,
Holy Hell I cannot believe for the first time I saved something literally right before it demanded it be closed. I FINALLY LEARNED TO SAVE SHIT! YES!!!! Also now that word and excel have both restarted it seems they have heard my plea and now it simply lets me copy and paste my chart into the word document, which it basically should have all along.
Complaining proves effective once again!
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| Dear external world, please fuck off |
[Dec. 11th, 2008|03:34 am] |
I think I am about to have an aneurysm.
Why the FUCK can't I just drag my beautiful Excel chart into Word?! And then why doesn't it just turn out the EXACT FUCKING SAME when I make it from a chart on Word?
That is all. Fuck my life. Break in one week. Cast off in one week also.
I guess it should come as no surprise that when I google "why the fuck can't I drag my excel chart into word on my mac" nothing really that helpful comes up. It is time to settle down and regroup and continue searching and fixing problems. Because that is what I like to do! |
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| Good times |
[Jun. 5th, 2007|01:33 am] |
error, the 4 seniors
and them 2 |
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| hey livejournal |
[Jun. 5th, 2007|01:33 am] |
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y u so ge
ps. the 4 captains
and them 2 |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 1st, 2007|05:39 am] |
this is the only way to massively tell everyone- i got rejected from middlebury-
but uh
i don't care
cause i went to the beach today in tampa, and i'm going to key west tomorrow
and who needs negative temperatures! certainly not me |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 22nd, 2007|07:13 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | kristen's bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | destroyed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | dry your eyes, mate - the streets | ] |
i guess i'm just kind of shocked
i didn't realize other people were under the impression that i was taking it to some unnecessary extreme.
i'm sorry that you don't give a shit, and man
you need space
you got it. |
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| je ne regrette rien |
[Jan. 21st, 2007|03:00 am] |
| [ | music |
| | only the sweet, sweet music that is in my head | ] |
It is exactly 3:00 A.M. and I cannot sleep. This is result of many things: 1- i woke up at 2:30pm today, and my body generally is awake for much more than 12 hours, 2-I just read 50 pages of this thought stimulating book i bought today at Borders (Mt. Kisco, and I was ill prepared, no coupons :/ ) by the guy who wrote sex drugs and cocoa puffs (which I did not read), whose first name is chuck and last name is not palahniuk, and writes really well and makes you not want to put it down.
My Middlebury interview has been scheduled for next Sunday, I am nervous. I bought two books on etiquette- not for the interview (duh), but it makes me think about appearance and that whole thing of sending colleges a picture of yourself. It's like, should I make sure it's like the best looking picture I can find of me? Or should it be as artsy and/or emo as possible? Wtf are they looking for with this? And with this outfit that i'm supposed to wear it's supposed to show that I am dedicated to getting in, which I definitely am, but is it also supposed to show something about me, like, ooh that rainbow scarf! she likes rainbows/other such assumptions? AND lastly what if it snows terribly and I want to wear snowboots? I mean I guess I just pack them in the car, but what if I have to walk on her driveway (it's at her house) through ice in nice shoes and I slip and crack my head open? My safety could be at stake here.
Today I went to Borders & had a latte, and then Joe and I went to Danbury Wendy's. Same events that happened before accident, but no accident this time! We took several measures to avoid, involving not talking about accidents during car trip (as much as we could avoid it) because apparently this is our downfall. Yknow, that, and driving in the left lane. I like the new monstrocity that Joe drives, and we resolved not to talk about the accident anymore. My hospital bracelet is off now, and the topic is done. (d- u- n.)
I realized that (I think) i've increased my outside of English class reading quota by like 1000% this year as compared to the average of years in the past. I guess that's what I chose to fill the excess of time I have with instead of piano lessons like I had previously thought. I should really call that teacher and tell her it's not happening- I just hate that phone call. Admitting defeat is not one of my strong points.
Writing this entry is really screwing up my body clock, I'm sure. But I'm thinking what might screw it up worse is the fact that I'm probably going to go and read that book some more until I finish it because I really, really like it. I wish I liked classics more. I want to read so much stuff- the pile next to my bed is humongous. I have no idea how to spell humongous. And every time I read a book I try to get other people to read it, its an experience you want to have in common with someone else so you can talk about it.
I think I must next buy On the Road by Jack Kerouac because I really want to know what all the fuss is about. I wonder if I would've taken to the beat movement if i were around then? If I had gone to Columbia with Allen Ginsberg and Jack and the other "Beaters" as I like to call them (starting 2 seconds ago).
Dan and I agree that putting punctuation marks inside of the quotation marks is kind of silly when it's like "Did you just say, 'you look nice today?"... because.. "did you look nice today" is not a question. But who the hell cares, I mean there are probably so many english rules I do not know and break on a regular basis, this is one rule that I know about and break because I simply disagree with it. There's a full cup of cold tea next to me, which is annoying because when I made it I noticed there were only 2 packets of this tea left and now I was bringing it down to 1. I must save this tea for tomorrow and shove it in the microwave. Hopefully not too much dust or shit will fall in it from the ceiling, etc.
Kristen is going back to va tomorrow, that blows completely. Except she contemplates refusing to go back, but I personally don't see that happening. (And soon she will read this, and see that I am judging her, and will understand because we both judge basically everything. It is our duty.) But I really don't mean it as a harsh judgment- for serious- it's just totally not gonna happen cause regardless, or irregardless, if you want to be retarded, or politically incorrect (gay), her parents are gonna shove her on the train- tantrum or no tantrum.
I am glad that Minesweeper doesn't keep a tally count or ratio of how many games you lose to how many you win - because, well I suppose pretty much everyone's would be super high, I guess I'm not the only one that randomly clicks around until a big box of numbers explodes before me that I can actually work with.. But in my mind there have to be some people that try to make every single game work, and probably even win at like, 1 in 4 of them. That, to me, is the best ratio anybody could EVER have in minesweeper. Clicking randomly makes you get a "good" opening about once every 10 or 12 games, and i'd say at least 40% of those you fuck up immediately because of poor reactive insticts- your finger keeps clicking elsewhere even though you've done a fantastic job finding this opening.
I bought 2 french cd's today. I'm buying (or, I want to buy, slash, I don't want to buy anything because I don't want to be materialistic). Try again- I like this comforter from Delia's that's called somethign like Victorian Something something. The theme of the room that it goes in would be ultra girly, and victorian. (It's so late.)
Anyway when I go to college, right now I have this pipe dream in my head of me sitting in a dorm room with this comforter and maybe a beret (I don't give a shit that Victorian is English and berets are French) and a cigarette, inside, ignoring its affects on my lunch (lungs) listening to some Edith Piaf or Serge Gainsbourg. (Those are the two cds I bought.) This purchase was probably stupid, actually, as I'm pretty sure I could've borrowed at least the Serge Cd from ms. Timone- and I definitely was introduced to Edith Piaf sitting in Jasmine's parents NYC apartment, assumedly their CD. Whatever, I should not be given the power/authority to delegate money. AND music should be free. (Which, it is.) I also often feel that people my age should not drive, simply because we suck. I suck, they all suck, I mean what are you gonna do, we're 16 17 and 18 years old. And we shouldn't be driving. But no way in hell am I ever going to tell the government (unless livejournal is a form of telling the government) that they should take away my license. Driving is one of my only rights and freedoms. (One of which that might possibly be taken away from Mrs. Reed/Read when her tires are slashed. By someone not me.)
Enough thinking. Time to go pass out or read.... one or the other. |
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| This is where I bitch |
[Jan. 12th, 2007|05:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  numb | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Nelly Furtado - Say It Right .. on youtube | ] |
Today I got to go to the winter track equivalent for boys of Happy Fun Day with joe and jasmine and the rest of the somers trackees. Lots of fun, pizza & apple juice. I actually like realized that I really like track, and even though me being there is like a waste of time because i suck, it's not a waste of time because it's fun. Basically track is recess.
The more I live the more I realize how much I like justice. It is probable that this has stemmed from Jasmine's tales of little jasmine noticing injustice, as she watched a kid with a speech impediment, or a language barrier, or SOMETHING like that, call thsi other kid, Enzo? "Pencil." Speech impediment kid = kid A, "Enzo"= B, then kid C comes up and is all, HES MAKING FUN OF YOU! HES CALLING YOU PENCIL! and teacher comes overl ike stop calling him pencil!
So today we witnessed some more teacher injustice. Franchino, a frequent subject on this livejournal apparently, is SUCH a bitch. Ok. Robyn Antonucci sticks up for herself as much, or maybe a little more- but not that much more, as the next guy. When we get tests back and franchino proves correct the answer she is attempting to tell us is incorrect, everyone, including robyn, gets pissed. We're watching An Inconvenient Truth right now in AP Enviro, and she explains like 500 times that her speakers are at their maximum volume, and everyone has to be silent for anything to hear anything. So it's silent for a few seconds, and me and robyn are stil only hearing murmurs from the tv, and robyn suggests to put on the subtitles. "Subtitles?" Silence. "Yeah good idea. Subtitles. We should put them on." Silence. eyes glance around.. "Yeah I think it would be smart to use the subtitles, ms franchino" silence. At this point it's totally impossible for her to not here her, and instead she's like, pretenidng not to for whatever reason and is like digging in her grade book or something doing other crap. I think we said subtitles like 50 more times, and then we gave up. You can pretty much infer what Al Gore is saying, I mean, we're not totally deaf, you can hear some of it. Anyway, that's instance #1, and even though it doesn't seem that nasty, Robyn is like one of the best students, not to mention nicest people, I know.
So today. Movie's coming on, some kid speaks and Franchino freaks out and is all WE HAVE TO REWIND IT CAUSE YOU CANT BE QUIET AND YOU MISSED HIS POINT! which was awkward cause like, her freaking out was unnecessary. This is where my sense of justice comes in, if we were being obnoxious and loud, I think I would've been a good judge of it, but we weren't. So the lights are like about to go out, and Robyn's like, hey it says Chapter 16 notes are due Wednesday, is that for us? Cause yknow we share the room with the bio students and it could easily be some other class'. Silence.
Honestly you have got to be kidding me. You're going to ignore her AGAIN?? Robyn mouths to me "what the fuck" and im like ... my injustice meter isl ike through the roof, so my hand flies up and she barks at me, WHAT?.. and im like "Well. It says on the board the chapter 16 notes are due Wednesday, actually Robyn just asked you and you kind of ignored her, so I just wondered if that was for us." I honestly felt a little over the line, ( I was really pissed) -I was worried I was being really full of attitude, but when i said ignored her the whole class laughed, which i guess was good. She was like "yeah I was going to tell you at the end of class." That wasn't like, as snipey as it could've been, but there was definitely some bitch on it- and i was really close to saying something like "Well we AP Students as you like to call us like to know our assignments as early in advance as possible to maximize the amount of time in which to do it..THANKS" but I refrained so as to evade further hostility and bitchiness. Cause that's definitely over the line.
I'm also annoyed at Mrs. Reed/Read just in general because 1.) she sucks and 2.) SHE THINKS I STOLE THE AP ENVIRO REVIEW BOOK. What the fuck. I shouldn't have so much anger, but seriously when senior pranks time comes round - me and jpix were discussing this- when senior pranks time comes round we're totally like oging after them first. And basically we agreed that it wouldn't be so much a senior prank as much as it might possibly be a senior felony, senior kidnapping. Whatever.
She came over and started bitching me out for whispering, not even exaggerating here to like make my case sound better, i just happened to be whispering to jon pickens and she was like "get a book or leave", which struck a chord cause there was an open book in my lap, and I was like "I have a book" and she was like "well you're talking" like uber condescendingly. You know those super ridiculous posters that teachers by to brainwash us like "Attitude is everything", well they're fucking absolutely correct cause if she hadn't said that in like the nastiest way she knew how i probably wouldn't have gone so crazy in my head. But she did, so I did. I said "ok", one of these evasive maneuvers to avoid further conflict, cause she's known to write people up for insubordination (such a psychopath)- and i'm like adjusting myself and she's like what's that!! to my wrist. and im like ummm it's a bracelet.. that I got from the hospital. Which I must've said like really full of attitude, or more just full of like, defensiveness and like I CLEARLY DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS ISSUE WITH YOU RIGHT NOW, enough so that she kinda put her hands up in a motion that's body language for like "oh sorry if i'm asking too much/settle down." and she was like When were you in the hospital? all of a sudden so fucking nice, i wanted to slap her. So I was like "uhhh this weekend" and she was like WHY? so i was like .. well first of all that's NONE OF HER BUSINESS - "I got into a car accident." and she was like oh my god were you driving?? What happeneD?!?? By this point im like boiling inside like Shut the fuck up bitch, we're sitting in the Circle of Silence in the library like and you're the one leading the conversation, i am going to shush you pretty soon. So I was like "..No I wasn't driving. I don't really want to talk about it" like, through gritted teeth, and she wasl ike oh ok. And went away. There are just some people I want to smack all the freakin time, and she is one of them.
I'm kind of glad this week is over. I pretty much have a 100 average in calculus rihgt now, that's ridiculous. I just have to not mess up the last test, whatever. I got that haircut I think i thought about in the last entry.. I like it. I also got my schedule for next week for work and I am not on at all. Sweet.
I'm really looking forward to doing nothing but watching movies and having a generally extremely girly time at Kristen's. I'm in kind of a bad mood. kind of a terrible mood actually.
but hey- 3 day weekend. |
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| Lots of stuff. |
[Jan. 9th, 2007|05:34 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | The Oranges Band, Elliot Smith, Modest Mouse, JSBE | ] |
So this last week, not to mention like, life, has been pretty intense. Today I PR'd at a Math Meet, I got 4!! My first math meet of the school year. We decided that Somers is undoubtedly the best looking team of all the math teams that we usually compete. JFK, I guess, is second. But they're kind of obnoxious.
On Saturday, Joe and I got into a situation that has made me reevaluate things in my life. Kind of a "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" mentality, but different- cause it's more like realizing what's really small. Nothing major, I guess I'm just more thankful to be here. I've been wearing this hospital bracelet somewhat as a reminder of like, life is really easy to take away or fuck around with, I was talking to Jas about this, like.. I'm not like "living every moment" cause I don't really know how to exactly, like, I said these exact words like im not gonna go streaking or like do outrageous stuff all the time, but I am gonna do what I can to love every moment.
I've had a few projects due in various classes that are like, of some substantial size to my grades, and they're all pretty much over, which is nice. Well like with having them done I actually have a few more- ap environmental essay for example, and the continuation/finishing of my economics entreprenuer thing, but our Ben and Jerry's portion of it as well as my Calculus project are completed. With doing that though, one day i was in the computer lab (Monday) (yesterday) and I left my hospital note saying that I'm exempt from gym there, and apparantly (today) Mrs. Reed/Read was like oh wellthe janitors like actually cleaned yesterday. So that's cool- I went to gym today like so uh i'm totalyl not supposed to do this. But somehow Jasmine and I continued our winning streak in Pickleball anyway. whatevs
During the Penis game today I yelled Penis like basically at Mrs. Franchino. Thinking about it now made me laugh, a laugh so spitty i could not control it. There is now spit on my monitor. Both instances quite embarrassing.
I've bought like 10 books or so in the last week, and I've somehow managed to ifnd time to read a significant amount in one of them (this may not sound like an accomplishment, but it is.) Given this book is titled the Automatic Millionaire, and it's supposed to be read in like 3 hours, whatev, I just don't have time like that. Cause all my time goes into livejournal.
At this point in the evening I'm pretty tired and have a bunch of things ahead of me, namely a PTSA meeting at 7:30 in the SHS Library. (Please, stalkers/child rapists/obsessed fans/et cetera meet me there.) I feel very satisfied because I got a math question that Cerch said nobody else got, woohoo!.
So yesterday my mom took the day off from work and when I came home she and I went to see if we could spend the $50 gift certificate I won to New York Dolls. Holy shit, that store is crazy expensive. We resolved to get my prom dress there, because apparantly they specialize in prom dresses, and like, well if I'm getting a dress from there I will need this $50 off. Then I was like, since it's early, hey do you want to go to the mall and look at that winter ball dress I really like. Well good thing we did! Cause It was like on sale for $50 down from 130 which is kind of ridiculous and awesome. Then I bought another dress, at 50 or something, and shoes for 40. I generally don't parade my material posessions, or, the purchase of them, but this is an exception because the dresses i got I really really really like and they were on ridiculous sale like, and about to go into the back never to be seen again. Well, they will soon. I dropped a size cause I'm not really eating, my mom thinks I'm anemic cause I get cold too much. (This is not a cry for help: I am not anorexic. Please.)
I've wanted to watch Almost Famous for a while now, and some of The Office. But the office I'm not really in a rush to see, cause it's what I have hwen i'm down and stuff, and like really need a pick me up that I havne't seen. Like i don't HAVE to watch all of it right now. Almost famous it would be cool if I could see that soon. I have these canker sores in my mouth and on my lip, I think somebody has given me herpes. Well, I ripped off some of my lip skin, and perhaps I contracted AIDS when I was at the hospital. That would make sense, I mean, we did walk under two ladders that evening.
I've been pursuing the concept of "designer jeans" simply because it interests me. I mean, idk, I get pants for like $15 so there's pretty much no way in hell i'll ever buy a pair of like $150 jeans, but, well, ok it's possible. But not more than like, once, or even twice. Consider I am female. They sold them at Out Of the Blue, another super chic Mt. Kisco place my mom and I went yesterday for really no reason- other than that she was like do you want to go? and i was like sure. Idk. interesting concept, I mean, i wonder if they really do make you look that much more amazing. They're like 10x the price, do they have 10x as good looks? Most likely yes.
This is where Joe would tell me that I have a terrible time focusing and staying on topic. I guess he's right.
Anyway my only job now is to not eat that much in the upcoming month so i still fit into my dress. pa hah i can't wait. i'm totally going to like pop the seam just beacuse i said this today.
4 people are engaged that I know. 3 are my age, 1 is a year older than me. What .. the hell. It's really exciting, but it's also like, well, you can pretty much infer/assume my thoughts on this. I don't want to say anything, because I'm really happy for everyone, but wow. 17.
I'm getting a haircut on Thursday, I was worried previously because my head was all messed up and i thought the people touching it would like kill me, but now my head hurts less. This is exciting news =)
I hope I am not scheduled to work at AE for another two weeks in a row.. I would love that.
Alot of the music I listen to, not all, but a good portion, are artists and songs that other people told me about. So recently I was really feeling down (this is not me emo, i'm not here to discuss my pain) and noticed that like, well a few songs in a row were of artists that were in my head associated with things I didn't want to think about, and I've been listening to alot of Matt Nathanson and Guster cause like, well Dan is like one of the best people I know. I don't think I expressed this very well- but like if you're trying not to think about a particular thing and then something that totally makes you think of it comes on youre like, change, so I found that Guster just made me exceedingly happy. I wonder if right now I am indeed sweating the small stuff.
It's so wierd, my You Sank My Battleship shirt still smells like burnt rubber. I wore it yesterday, and it still smells like accident. For some reason I don't want to wash it because I don't want to lose that drive to think of what's important.
The space heater is on in my room, first im going to pee, and then im going to read in there and enjoy the warmth. Because I'm anemic. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 25th, 2006|02:12 am] |
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
i decided today that if I had more faith I might consider becoming a nun.
or basically if all else fails- I mean the lifestyle isn't that bad. if you think about it you always have a few fall back careers.. army, nurse, or commit a big crime and spend it in jail
but it doesn't matter because it's christmas!! =) |
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| i have no idea. |
[Dec. 15th, 2006|04:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Living Legends - Flawless | ] |
Okay so I keep claiming that the app process for college is completely over, but it's not. OK basically it is. But I still have to send 3 or 4 schools my SAT scores, about which today i was just like Hey Polino can I just send it, and she was like idk why don't you call them and ask? Like instead of paying the $10/school I could just send them the sat scores that College Board sent me, I have 3 copies. I might as well. But she didn't know.
So then I got this thing from Geneseo today, and I'm pretty sure I did their whole supplement, idk, and I should really start caring about that app because i'm probably going to wind up going there.
Amherst, however, I have like no recollection if i actually did pay the fee or not, I tell myself I did but I'm really not sure. It's $55, and I don't remember doing something of that price, so that makes it easier for me to be like f that app. It's due 1/1, and I don't want to do it for like, say, a month, and we don't get back in school until next year so I'd have to do it now anyway. Fuck that.
I'm working 5-9 at American Eagle tonight, potentially purchasing a present or two (with the $17 that my dad just gave me because i am soo poor).. Babysitting tomorrow 4:30-something like 12. Anyway my whole college thing is like, I keep almost being done and then there is like one more thing I have to turn in.. right now it's for Geneseo- I have to give them the parent statement- I don't actualyl have to, but my dad did it, so why wouldn't I, except for that I can't find it anywhere.
Never mind the last statement. I was like hmm can't find it? might it be... right behind me on this bed? and it was. So okay now I should really just send it.
UVM tells us today online at 5 if we got in or not, that's kinda wierd. The online thing isn't wierd, but it's wierd that there is probably soo much stress going on right now. I'm trying not to care. ... and il'l be at work when it is uploaded so it doesn't matter. I'll check at 10, whatever.
Things have been really insane recently. The universe is basically imploding on itself. Smart people getting deferred, issues (whatever) with best friends, the weather is totally out of whack.. but I am feeling the holiday spirit, which is nice. Oh and we got this thing from the school today (again) like you have NINE absences is economics! watch out cause it's a half year class! and i was like... 9?!! the last thing i got definitely said 10. I love it when they fuck up. So apparantly I have nine, I'm like not even close to having 12. I mean I am, duh, but it's not like I only have one more opportunity to sleep through it. I mean hello it's first period, cut me some damn slack. I've been getting to school on time recently though, it's wierd. Plus I'm getting sick- but not a cold this time, this time I think it's like an actual disease. I very well may have strep, and that sucks. My cough is really lame, like i'm choking, because basically I am just choking on phlegm inside me and stuff. The winter concert last night was pretty sweet, though- I thoroughly enjoyed it. Plus i freakin loved Talan and Krissy's solos. I wonder if everyone else has the same feelings on that girl who is on her way to becoming Britney Spears, though. She has such a good voice, but she sings so god damn annoyingly.
It's 48 degrees out.
Perhaps I will go to AC Moore this evening. |
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| eh |
[Nov. 28th, 2006|07:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  irritated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | pharrell - you can do it, too | ] |
My mom is kind of a hypocrite. I don't have nearly as big problems with my parents as alot of the people I know, so I shouldn't complain, -- I mean I really don't have problems with my parents, period, they're reasonable. According to Joe they're like incredibly easy, but that's definitely incredibly far from the truth. I think the best wya to describe it is reasonable.. I mean, we have alot of trust cause I like pretty much tell them everything. Prety much.
So we were just eating dinner and mike was over (family friend, fixes our house) and he said a tv show said something about Anna Nicole Smith, and i was like hhmm. And his point was "who is that?" so my mom explained and then went off on this tangent about how like the media always focuses around "the big 5" 1.) being iraq and 2.) i didn't stay and listen for cause she like started saying something about how there's so much she's like "how can people consume themselves with this so much, how could a person have the time to care about anna nicole smith", etc.. and yeah while that's all well and good, I'm immediately reminded of how she'll come to me like, "So what do you think of all these couples having babies.. Now Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have a child.." and I'll kind of be like idk i don't really give a shit- but in a nicer way. Idk i feel weird when she makes claims like WHO CARES ABOUT THIS STUFF and then is totally like laura what do you think about paris hilton.
It's really not a big deal but I've been thinking about it for a while. It's not like she's a bad person- it's just like, lady, you love celebrities. you freaking love gossip. shut up. |
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| I just really like this song. |
[Nov. 26th, 2006|04:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  relaxed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | how do you afford your rock and roll lifestyle? - cake | ] |
Bones are broken and the will is sunk
How did everything get so fucked up?
Do you want to change your mind?
You can always change your mind
You and I can quit this scene
Build a town and then secede
Like an Adam and an Eve
To the dreamers go the dreams
But believers have the lead
It's a frightening, frightening thing
Born to the land of opportunity
of Manifest destiny
Do you want to change your mind?
You can always change your mind
You and I can quit this scene
Build a town and then secede
Like an Adam and an Eve
To the dreamers go the dreams
But believers have the lead
It's a frightening, frightening thing
The moon and stars are ganging up on the sun
rebellion
Everybody, the sky is falling down
Friends and lovers, the world is coming down
Down, down
Down, down
it sounds much happier than the words would make you think. ive had a buzzing last couple of days with work and seeing college people.. i'm so happy after this weekend, i don't care that i'm like totally sleep deprived and walk away with 2 more canker sores than when i went into it, but hey my toenail like cracked in half but didn't fall off, and it was attached to all this tissue so i was like oh god anything that touches it makes it hurt forl ike 5 minutes.. but it just fell off last night.. so like it basically healed itself. the skin underneath isn't even like, raw. it was totally raedy to be exposed. i know this was disgusting, jesus. thanksgiving was really nice and quiet.
it really sucks that i dont' get to see anyone like, ever, especially Kristen. I remember before she left I was like wow this is going to totally blow every second, but i didn't want to deal with it cause I knew that would be just sad. But it hasn't like been miserable every second of my life not having her here - this is awkard cause kristen reads this, so whats up- it's just like sad that we're losing time that we could be having fun together. cause we have such good times!! i have other stories that should get saved some how, but i feel like a public online journal is just simply not the place, nto to mention not the time cause like, college admissions counselors could be reading this crap! anyway i had a really incredible weekend, even though i did work 12 hours. but work isn't even that bad. it's not like anything compared to arturos, but you stand still alot more, so your legs totally cramp up like all the time. when i leave im like OWWW JESUS I NEED TO SIT. but the work itself, chatting with people, folding clothes, selling outfits not just pieces.. all pretty chill. plus we get to listen to people chat on the headset.. i still dont know register,b ut it's still a fun job. i mean, so far.
now i'm strongly considering wcc because this kid told me it's like $100 a credit and that's all you have to pay. like, he takes 19 credits so college is $1900, and he applied for and got this scholarship for $1000, so like, he's done. he pays $900. that's freakin amazing. that might've just been per semester but who the hell cares, with every other college b eing like 40,000 dollars.. why wouldn't you go to wcc. as much as i want to go to college far from here.. dude .. this is not a bad option. |
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| edith piaf. im not listening to her though. |
[Nov. 13th, 2006|12:33 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
I just read the english assignment.. Jean De Daumier-Smith's Blue Period, I think it was called? ... I found Dan Allen's senior quote! everyone's a nun. it's cool when you get stuff, though I'm not totally sure I understand it, I'm alot further along on the road to getting it than i was an hour ago. Which makes me think about senior quotes, and how he was a senior when I was a freshman and I remember his vividly. I wonder if anyone else reads them like I do.. or regards them as highly? Because I'm pretty sure mine is going to be "Hakuna Matata" - The Lion King. or maybe i'll just quote Timone, or Pumba.. or both.. really no idea. Not quite so deep, c'est si bon.
Okay i have to go to sleep. |
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| My brain is like fireworks : exploding, beautiful, chaotic, etc |
[Nov. 8th, 2006|10:49 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Dizee Rascal - (You've got to have a) Dream | ] |
I kind of want to kill myself, Maddox style. Slam my head into concrete repeatedly, eat alot of beans, etc. The end of this quarter cannot come fast enough.. I'm a total idiot (I want to say totally retarded, but i'm weening myself off saying that, even though I kind of feel like Michael Scott when I do say it, which i like.) for missing school today, except I hadn't done like any of the hw that was due so it was a good opportunity to get a major amount of shit done. I missed last friday, I missed today (Wednesday) -- for posterity i want you to know this is the wednesday after a 4 day weekend, so i just took a 6 day weekend thankuverymuch. And then tomorrow I go to school and be like hey guys what's up, and then Friday I'm gonna be at St. Lawrence University being recruited for my AWESOMENESS (or something like that.)
Okay really on Thursday we're leaving at like 5 or so, just in time to miss the last somers football game, that sucks alot. Anyway we go up like hmmm 7 hours or so north of here to Canton, NY, to a tiny little school of 2,000 that has Division III athletics, except for ice hockey, that's division I. So it's big, and I'm going to a big hockey game apparantly. That's cool. (No pun intended ....who the hell am i kidding)
So yeah I'm gonna be in ONE DAY this week. so i did everything i could, and then the rest of it i'm turning in monday because that's the thing about these fancy yellow passes, you can turn in stuff late even though the quarter like, ended. So the whole day i was emailing teachers like hi it's laura, guess what i'm totally fucked so could you please tell me what the assignments are so i can do them. And everyone was totally chill about it like yeah sure no problem, except for the one and only claire who was like no there are tons of worksheets and notes that you've missed, in order to do them you must come to the school and get htem. Im like okay, you psycho. I took this day off under the pretense that I am "sick", I mean, I'm not really sick, but I think I am sick by somebody's standards. There's gotta be somebody out there with such an immaculate and amazing immune system that just one day in my body would make them feel like death, I think. So that's the kind of day I took. Anyway I was like wow you crazy bitch, I'm sick and you want me to go down to the school even though I like took the day off. So whatever, maybe i'd be more pissed if i was actually sick- whatever I go at 2 pm, and i sent her an email like okee doke coming at 2. And you know what she does at 2 pm?? she leaves. the second the bell rings she dodges. i don't even understand. So I went around, like, first i went to calculus to be like bitch give me the worksheet, and she wasn't there, so i went around and did other things- dropped my economics stories off in mr. moore's mailbox, went up and chatted with mr. difabbio, looked for walker, ... i avoided malone because i hadn't yet completed the stuff that was for today's class, and, in retrospect he probably wouldn't have even brought up the assignment because he's really cool, but i couldn't take the risk. He was in the english office with zeinoun, and i was like WHOA peace out, that lady hates me.
A little bit later i checked back at calculus/math office/entire wing/ asked everyone in the vicinity if they'd seen claire, including the ever so friendly in school lady barbara white. her hair color is so.. how you say, natural!
Anyway. so i go back and see ms. franchino and we talk about stuff, like how i'm screwed for the test tomorrow but i want to take it anyway because that's the only time i have to take it - fuck not taking it tomorrow. I mean basically im going to fail anyway, or like, giving me a few extra days won't make me study any harder. And plus I'm doing pretty well in that class anyway. My logic is irrefutable- basically i just do not care about my result on this test one bit.
So some people have already gotten into college... what the hell.... enough on that. the south carolina honors program thing is due november 15th, and mine is basically done except i have to write a big list of all the books i've read in school and out of school and discuss a few of them. That means I have to get my portfolio, that's why i was looking for walker, who was no where to be found. It's okay with me that i couldnt find her, though - it's not like we'd had an ongoing email conversation throughout the entire day and agreed ona place and time. yknow.
I haven't written in this thing, and now is probably the last itme i should be writing in it cause there is so much i should be doing. but okay that part of my head can just shut the hell up - i would be incredibly boring if i just spent my time doing things of great importance and necessity. i will sit here and wallow in my day and organize my thoughts, thankuverymuch. (time #2 using that phrase in this entry)
Anyway i'll probably end up like ben and jerry, getting denied from every med school and make a super awesome company of my own. I mean, i'm gonna get into college somewhere, but sadly that's only a wee tiny stepping stone in the way. I wonder what I will be selling? |
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| monologues |
[Oct. 4th, 2006|07:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | mellow | ] |
| [ | music |
| | superconnected - broken social scene | ] |
This is what i'm considering.
(Mean Girls)
Regina: Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. (makes a face) I know right, it's soooo embarrassing. I don’t even…whatever. So then in eighth grade I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle, who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana--and Janyce was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like "Why didn't you call me back?!" and I'd be like, "Uh, why are you so obsessed with me?" So then for my birthday party, which was an all girls pool party, I was like, "Janyce I can't invite you because I think you're a lesbian" I mean, I couldn't have a lesbian at my party! There were going to be girls there in their bathing suits! I mean right, she was a lesbian! So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her and it was so retarded and then she dropped out of school 'cause no one would talk to her and she came back in the fall for high school and her hair was all cut off and she was totally weird and now I guess she's on crack.
(Clueless)
Cher: So, OK, like right now, for example, the Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all "What about the strain on our resources?" But it's like, when I had this garden party for my father's birthday right? I said R.S.V.P. because it was a sit-down dinner. But people came that like, did not R.S.V.P. so I was like, totally buggin'. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, squish in extra place settings, but by the end of the day it was like, the more the merrier! And so, if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion, may I please remind you that it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty?
(Wet Hot American Summer)
Katie: Listen, Coop. Last night was really great. You were incredibly romantic and heroic, no doubt about it. And that's great. But I've thought about it, and my thing is this. Andy is really hot. And don't get me wrong, you're cute too, but Andy is like, cut. From marble. He's gorgeous. He has this beautiful face and this incredible body, and I genuinely don't care that he's kinda lame. I don't even care that he cheats on me. And I like you more than I like Andy, Coop, but I'm 16. And maybe it'll be a different story when I'm ready to get married, but right now, I am entirely about sex. I just wanna get laid. I just wanna take him and grab him and fuck his brains out, ya know? So that's where my priorities are right now. Sex. Specifically with Andy and not with you.
I seriously cannot choose. they are all so good. I might be leaning toward the last one, though. I like drama. |
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| a fucking fly is circling my head right now |
[Sep. 6th, 2006|02:35 am] |
I DONT WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOOOOOOL
I HATE SCHOOL SO MUCH!!! IT IS THE CAUSE OF ALL OF MY DEMISE!!!
AND I CANT SLEEP.
plus i got a car. and facebook is wierd.
BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY I CANT SLEEP CAUSE I HATE SCHOOL SO MUCH
AND ITS IN LIKE THREE HOURS!!!! |
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| what am i doing with my life |
[Aug. 24th, 2006|01:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | You're Fit But You Know It- The Streets | ] |
There are like a million things to do that I have no control over, and one thing that I absolutely have to do that I have complete control over, my summer reading, and that simply is just not getting done.
I think they all revolve around a same theme that makes me sound like a spoiled little girl, but having a car would just make life alot easier. Let's face it.
1.0 I applied for a parking permit, but I do not have a car. So I put my dad's car down. That doesn't really matter, but I'm thinking of how I'm going to get to and from peer leadership&volleyball. I've always been the girl that's really screwed for pre season because my parents work and I have to get there 5 hours early and need a ride home for the break and a ride back after the break. my parents are only able to pick me up from it. This works out usually though because we'll call people and explain the problem to them- i get to be other people's burdens. Since I was a wee freshman though I've dreamed of being able to transport myself.
2.0 I need to do my summer reading. I'm on page 150 of the Grapes of Wrath, in my version there are 455 pages which is not even that bad it's just that it takes fucking forever to read one page let alone four hundred. I have to go purchase the other two books (yeah that's right, purchase), and I just got a 10% off coupon from Borders in my e-mail, so that means I have to travel to either Mt. Kisco or Danbury (probably equal distance from my house thanks to straight highway to danbury and windy roads to mt. kisco) but that also requires a vehicle. How did I do it before I had my license?
3.0 My senior pictures (retakes) are tomorrow, and I've been planning on going to the gym every day, but for the past three days I simply haven't had the time. Monday and Tuesday I don't really remember what happened, but Wednesday (last night) I got really sick and had to go to sleep at like 8:45. We think it had something to do with something I ate, probably the pasta that joe made that's still at my house. The four cheese sauce just does something to me internally where I want to vomit. So I couldn't do anything last night. I should have a car so I can go to the gym. thats the point of this one.
I devoted all of yesterday to reading 100 pages of GoW, but I only got to do 60 or so thanks to the pounding headache and nausea. Maybe I am allergic to summer reading!
Today I ran around the block because that's a form of exercise that does not require a vehicle. but I forgot how much that sucks.
Yesterday afternoon during one of my breaks from reading I went on Cars.com and searched like every type of car from 30 miles away or less for under 5,000 dollars and sent them to my dad in an email. I only want a piece of crap car. seriously. Just work! that's all i want. There were a bunch for $3,450, and that excited the hell out of me. I kind of want one of hte old enormous jeep suvs that are used to cart around lots of kids. One that works like crap preferably. I know I hate SUVs. but the old ones have so much character!
Okay so there's more.
I've also been applying to colleges alot recently, and I definitely want to apply places that my friends are applying- not for the follow the crowd thing, but for the like, listen if we don't apply at the same places there is NO CHANCE we will go to school together. I see that the likelihood of me going to school with any of my friends is really slim to nill but ruling out the chance NOW sucks. So I'm applying to American U because of Jasmine, and I did everything but the essay part- which isn't anything new, it's like talk about an event/person that shaped your life. So now I'm looking really deeply at every single thing I've every done and person I've met. If you see me staring at you wierd assume it's cause i'm trying to see you for another level, a level which can be written about to admissions directors. Please accept my advance apologies. |
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| RIP |
[Aug. 7th, 2006|09:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | pensive | ] |
| [ | music |
| | In My Life- The Beatles | ] |
one moment you're out there enjoying the crap out of yourself playing tennis, the next your friend jumped over the tennis net to get the ball and shattered some bones in his wrist.
Rest In Peace, our precious days of tennis. There were many, who knew your life was to be so short-lived?
We'll be back in a month, maybe.
I even bought a racquet! |
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| a bug just flew into my arm! |
[Jul. 19th, 2006|11:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | pinball wizard is stuck in my head | ] |
Last year when I came home from NYLC my mom took me shopping. Not immediately, but say, two weeks after I got home I went to Stew Leonard's. And there I saw this sign.
So I captured its beauty with my cell phone and told myself I'd make it say alex and send it to him, but i really blow at the colors stuff. So I finally got a chance to screw around with it this evening.. and this is what i wish it would say.
I hope you enjoy my handiwork. |
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